Start Asking Questions With More Depth

 

When I wake up in the morning, sometimes my mind takes me back to reflect on some previous encounters that I’ve had. And this morning my mind went back to the question…

“Are you going to school?”.

This is usually my least favourite question because of how it’s asked. In my experience, generally people like to hear “yes” and then they like to get lost in whatever it is that you are paying thousands of dollars a year to study. I have even caught myself asking the same question.

I saw someone recently that had just graduated high school and the first thing I said to them was “so where are you going to school next year?”. I totally grossed myself out with this… because a.) maybe they didn’t want to do post secondary (I made an assumption) and b.) I asked knowing it was 100% a conversation filler

Usually when I answer that I am not going to school, only because I have travelled and plan to travel more, this somehow justifies it to some. Like well… “you aren’t going to school but travelling is great and you should while you are young”. And I think to most people of today, after high school, you either go to post secondary or you travel. Those are the two  most acceptable points.

But what if I said.. no I am not in school. I am not going to school. And I do nothing everyday.  I can bet I would get some weird looks. And why? I don’t know.. maybe it’s society telling me I am not properly participating in it. But at the end of the day.. does it really even matter?

Getting to my point…

I think that we ask the wrong questions leading with “what”. This is the top layer question that has no depth. When we first meet someone, a question like, “so are you going to school” shouldn’t be on the top of the list like it usually is.

What’s more important to me is if you are truly peacefully, satisfied with everyday. The outer layer is meaningless unless it aligns with inner joy. When I meet people I like to get to know them with open questions.. like “how are you today” or “tell me something about yourself”. I would much rather hear about a random life experience or encounter than what year of program you are in. To me it’s the same as meeting someone and the first thing they tell you is how many cars they have.

This is not to say that when I encounter my friends who are in school that I think their goals and aspirations are meaningless. In fact, I love to hear that they are doing something that makes them happy. But when it comes to myself, I wish we had more to talk about with people than just where they are going to school, or if they are planning to buy a home. I know for myself that I have learned way more living the way I have day after day than I ever have in any classroom… and I always feel like I have so many positive life lessons to share!

I challenge myself to dig deeper than just asking the same, repetitive, mundane questions day after day. Some people find it blunt, random, and weird. But I am always watching what I ask others and more importantly, how I am asking them. When I meet people I want to get a feel of who they are not what they are.

And on that note, I hope you have a wonderful day!

Thanks for reading!

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2 thoughts on “Start Asking Questions With More Depth

Add yours

  1. A while back I read an article that spoke about how we communicate with others in our daily lives, and how we don’t put as much thought into creating meaningful questions. The writer pointed out how, instead of asking “how are you?” as this tends to get a short answer, she rather asked “what was a highlight of your day? What was something good that happened?”. This triggered a reaction from the other person who, prepared to answer “fine, thanks!”, suddenly got confronted with something that got them thinking their day and something that they could be happy about or grateful for. It created a better conversation, and a better feeling walking away from it. This is something that I’ve been investing my time in, since. Truly listening to people, asking them better questions, creating more meaningful conversations. I’m happy that there’s someone out there doing the same in their own little world! 🙂

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