You Choose Your Happy


Sometimes I look around and I think… Wow. What went so wrong that we live in a nation filled with so many unhappy humans? Even the “happy” things we see posted all over the internet or the activities we say we are enjoying end up being mostly just a captured facade.

I encounter hundreds of people a day while I am serving and each day I feel like I get a small sample of the greed, discontent and just general unhappiness happening all across our western world.

But I also get to see so much more than just the food ordered from these people I see what they drive. I see what they wear. I hear what they talk about. I hear HOW they talk about it. I see their body language. I feel their tension. I feel whatever energy they bring with them into the restaurant that day.

The reality we live in


Sometimes I feel like I am trapped in a world where I am walking around thousands of people filled to the brim with anger. They wait for the first thing to go “wrong” in their day to release some of this emotion. Someone smiling from ear to ear can instantly turn into a cold slate the moment they find that their soda is flat or their steak is a little too overdone. Is it really that big of a deal? Well no.. the simple solution would be to let the waitress know and let them fix the situation for you, but instead the anger has found an outlet.

I use the restaurant situations as an example but this happens everywhere. When something goes wrong. When someone says something you don’t like. Customer service representatives just seem to get the worst of it because we teach that it’s okay to be angry if you feel like you’ve be done a disservice.

What are we really angry at?

There is a difference between being angry at the situation and angry at another person. Usually we are angry at the circumstance, not the actual person. The anger is because there is cream in the coffee when milk was asked for but it would be silly to be angry at an inanimate object right? Or a circumstance that has no physical entity… so we take it out on the closest living thing that can receive and react to an encounter… another human.

There was a man yelling at the flight attendant last time I flew because the plane was late departing. What he was really annoyed with was the fact that the plane had not left when it was supposed to… but the flight attendant would hear his complaint and so, he used her as his outlet.

Diving a little deeper

I see multiple layers to this. If we use the flight altercation above as an example. The man was angry because the flight was delayed so he took it out on the flight attendant. But if we take a step back.. why was he so mad? Was the flight being half hour late going to end his world?

Most likely no.

So we go deeper and we find a generally dissatisfied human waiting for something to come along to release this build up of negativity. It could have been anything to set him off, the flight being delayed was just the first event to come up. To have this much stress and anger built up all the time is terrifying to me. Even worse that we think its okay to spew it out onto other people with no consequences. I observe this behaviour and all of a sudden it makes sense to me how wars happen.

Why are we so angry all the time?

Quite simply, I think it’s because we are told we are supposed to care a lot about things that in the grand scheme of things really don’t matter. From day one we have been made to feel that “we need”. We need a home with ____, _____, and ____. We need to feed our family _____, ______, and ______. We have to work. We have to go to school. We need to have a job that fulfils _____, _____, and _____.

This is a lot of pressure on us that is constantly perpetuated. But we forget that if we bring everything back to the basics we really only need food, water,  shelter and clothing. All the rest is just over complicated, money driven, westernized thinking. This pressure and stress can just start to eat a person alive and soon we have restless, irate souls wandering around the earth, looking for other ones that they can relate to.

We breed misery.

But we all have a choice

Continuing the cycle of anger and dissatisfaction is a choice. At any point in our lives we can decide to be happy with what we have and to be conscious of the energy that we send out into the word. We can start with ourselves, influence other people and bring our children into a positive, limitless world.

If you haven’t yet, I highly recommend the Netflix movie, “Given”. I love this movie because it dives into the fact that we can start a new path at any time. If we want to live a different way than others.. we can. The movie warms my soul, breathes positive vibes, and highlights all of the inspiring things in life that I want my children to experience throughout their lives.


Making a simple change

I whole heartedly believe that there is no reason for anyone to be directing pain and anger onto other person. Each time we do this, we are stealing inner peace from the people we choose to interact with.

We all do it, we all direct our pain and negativity outwards, to our employees, to our children, our friends, our family. If I could, I would take all of the pain in the world and compress it into a fire ball and throw it out of this universe.

A personal goal of mine is to be conscious of my actions and the way that I expel negativity into the world and onto other people. The first step in this for myself was to observe it in others. I’ve been there for a while and sometimes gaining a keen eye for this type of behaviour is a little disheartening. Everywhere you look you will start to see it. Even when it’s not directly visible you can also see where it’s hidden too.

It’s actually quite mind blowing just how much you will see in yourself when you start to observe yourself in third person. Some of these situations you will later realize were not the best projections of your true self.

I think we always have things to work on to break years of unhealthy, negative patterns passed on from earlier generations. If anything, I just wish we were all more aware of how much impact the energy we send out into the universe has, not only on ourselves but on everyone else around us.

What do you think? Can you fess up? Can you think of any situations where you reacted to a situation that propelled your own negativity and affected others along the way?

We can work on that.

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