“[Baby Fever] is a strong emotional urge to have a child. Commonly thought to be just for women, however; men get it as well.”
Pregnancy. Pregnancy Everywhere.
I’m at that stage in life where pregnancy is exploding all around me. Close friends, family, classmates, employees, co-workers, you name it… it feels like everyone is having a baby.
I feel the more that I am exposed to all of this pregnancy, the more I start to think… should I be having a baby too? Is my biological clock ticking right now?
I panic a little.
But then I take a second and think… 21 Cara. You are 21 with lots of time ahead of you. But my clock is relentless… what if I can’t have children when I want to? What if I become unhealthy? Am I infertile already and I don’t even know? What if waiting will cause complications in my pregnancy? The list goes on and on…
Failure Smells Like Baby Powder
And then you put me in a room with a newborn and my body sets itself into a baby craze. Hello baby fever! I learned in University all about this experience. One whiff of a baby’s sweet skin and you’re already planning the colour of your own nursery. Babies smell good and they are cute for a reason. Since they are helpless beings they need to be cared for to live. In order to survive they need to have these heart melting advantages. So essentially you put me in a room with a cute newborn with my biological clock already ticking and we’ve made the perfect recipe for weakness.
Their Cries are Kyrptonite
A lot of parents say it. After you watch their child cry or require some sort of attention they say, “there, that should be some birth control for you“. But actually, baby fever works in the opposite way. Watching this actually makes the urges stronger. All of a sudden you have the strong desire to soothe something. To care for something. Parents of the baby seem to have a key. While holding a baby, if it starts to cry you give it back to one of the parents, and they magically seem to make it stop. I WANT THAT POWER.
Quick! Stop Breathing it in!
Could I have a baby right now? Well, I mean, I guess I could, yes. There are other people in far more difficult situations than myself doing just fine. But I have to take a second to let the baby smell drift away.
Evaluating With a Clear Head Space
I’ve got plans. Selfish plans. I know that right now I want to put 100% of my time and money into myself to do the things that I want to do right now. People always indicate to me that having a baby doesn’t necessarily have to hold you back from the things you want to do in life. Although this may be true, having a child means I’m opening up an investment. Personally, I don’t even want to travel anywhere with something as little as a monthly payment right now. Just because I would be physically and mentally able to bring life into the world right now, doesn’t mean I want to.
The difficult thing about “Baby Fever” is that you aren’t thinking about any of this when you’re spinning around in baby la la land. All of your dreams and plans can seemingly be thrown out the window just from experiencing someone else’s tiny human sleeping soundly in your arms. It’s like we forget the responsibility that they require and everything about having a baby would make life perfect. That’s Baby Fever.
Do Your Priorities Align?
In some cases, and certainly not in all of them, people have jumped the gun when it came to having children. Accident or not we make the conscious choice to keep a baby. It is my personal belief that if your true priories (not baby fever priorities) don’t align with creating a life you should be being extra cautious or be accepting of alternatives for unplanned pregnancy for your own sake!
I’m Selfish and I Know That
Call it selfish, because it is. My priorities are and I will one hundred percent own up to that. I don’t want to have a child because I was caught in a spot where I had to make a difficult choice, I want to have one because my priorities align. This does not mean my circumstances will have to be perfect to welcome a baby into the world (because we all know perfect is not when babies arrive) but I want to be satisfied with my own personal achievements. I know this very well for myself when I’m not swoon in nurseries and baby powder.
Let Priorities Shift and Change Organically
This is not to say in x amount of time, priorities can’t change. What I mean is actively pursuing a baby under the influence of “baby fever” is not a natural shift in priorities. Enjoy life as a couple first, as individuals too and let the ideas of having a baby flow in naturally. This is difficult to do in a world covered in pregnancy and newborns. When I go onto my popular page on Instagram, at least 20% of each page I swipe through are baby related. Moral of the story is… you have to be strong and really know yourself to not succumb to this powerful phenomenon.
Tips and Tricks for Combating Baby Fever
- Stay away from the babies– Unrealistic but if you’re serious about fighting this battle, you can always attempt.
- Take time to reflect with yourself personally- The more time you spend alone, the more time you will have to get to know yourself and what you really want from your life. You might come to the realization that a baby isn’t a part of that right now.
- Talk it out with your partner- Talking it out with your partner can help ease your mind that a baby is a “someday” thing. You can help level each other’s heads. But remember men experience the fever too!
- Understand that “Baby Fever” is a real thing and that it DOES distort your views- This will be your strongest battle weapon. When experiencing any sort of baby fever remind yourself that it isn’t real. Treat yourself as if you have essentially been drugged. Entertain the ideas but know better than to follow through with anything drastic.