DISCLAIMER* – this article contains my views and my perspectives. I am in no way wishing to offend anyone in my writing as some may disagree. Please read as a challenge to see things through a different perspective and only as such.
What does it mean to live your life backwards? If you have a child out of wedlock, are you living life backwards? If you decided to travel before attending post secondary are you living life backwards? Who makes this decision about the “proper sequence” in which one should live their life? Does it even matter?
Entrappment of Preconceived Notions
Everyone is going to have their own values, morals and opinions on what sequence they choose to live their life in. This is life, this is freedom in a Western Society. It could be that you believe life should be lived in a sequence of school, job, marriage, children, retirement, death. It could be that you life live in a sequence of travel, children, school, travel, job, retirement, marriage. The options are unlimited and I think the acceptance or appropriateness should be based purely on each individual who’s choosing the sequence. There are perhaps certain sequences that have a greater potential to lead to better outcomes when it involves children and other individuals but the basis of this is that these sequences cannot be applied to anyone but the one who chooses to live them. Perhaps you will seek a partner in life who wishes to live life in the same specific sequence, understandable, a search for compatibility makes sense. The point that I am trying to reach here is that not everyone may choose the exact same sequence as “correct” to them and I think that they should not be made to feel any less than human because of it.
The Bigger Picture
Life to me is not about outcomes, it is not about having things, it is not about the preconceived ideals of “good and bad, right and wrong”, it is not about gaining and attaining. Life to me is about inner peace & happiness. If every “thing” you have right now was taken away would you be happy? No job, no significant other, no vehicle, no degree, no dishwasher, no pet, nothing. Would you be happy with yourself, with your life? Living a good life to me has nothing to do with attaining a life of comfort or checking those common “checkpoints” in life such as a nice home, vehicles, a husband, a child. These things are all lovely and they are things that I myself have a natural occurring desire for, however if my life decides to play out in a way that I do not attain these things, I am perfectly happy and okay with that. Not everyone thinks like this & I’m not asking others to think like this, that’s not important here. What is important to me is that we can respect the ways other people think without pushing our own ideas of “RIGHT and WRONG” onto them. Open minds go to far, far places, they have no confinements, they harbour less negativity, they make for happier humans.
Negativity is Unwelcome
When I engage in a conversation, I can (like most of us) immediately feel hostility, resentment or negativity surrounded by the other person. You can tell by the questions they ask, how they ask them, body language & tone. They are talking to you, giving you the fake smile and nodd, semi wincing as you speak about your life choices, which is all very interesting considering they are usually the one to initiate conversation and lead into the topic their negative little minds want to go to. So what do you do? Well, to be polite, you say as little as you can and get away from them asap. Or, you can lie and tell them what they want to hear and no harm done if their negativity had nothing viable to cling to. This negativity is so unwelcome and completely unnessary. Being around a negative person is like being around a very sick person, coughing all over the place, trust me, you don’t want to catch that shit.
Right and Wrong//Good and Bad Word Association
I think that too often the words right and wrong are very closely associated with the words good and bad. The problem I have with this is that a great deal of cases of “right and wrongs” are decided by personal morals and beliefs. I don’t think it’s right that because we think something is wrong by our own opinions, that the person or situation involved then becomes “bad”. Hypothetically, you may think that it is wrong for someone to have a child before getting married but this should not conclude that your choices are now good and theirs are now bad. Labelling situations based on personal values and beliefs with “good and bad” does nothing but feed our ego’s and the sickening addiction of being “better” than other people. In my opinion labelling things good and bad in the world adds a negative, combative film to life. Good and Bad judgements are simply products of personal beliefs of Rights and Wrongs. I myself, feel as though I don’t have the right to label anyone or any situation in this world when based solely on my own opinions and not fact as “Good or Bad”.
- We shouldn’t label life choices, outside of our own as “Right or Wrong” – these labels can only be applied to our own choices because right or wrong is defined by ourselves and no one else.
- Live your life backwards, upside down, vertical, inside out and don’t let anyone make you feel smaller because of it– if you think in a mind constraint, you’re living in a mind constraint, my so called “backwards” life has been the best roller coaster ride I’ve ever experienced. I think you learn a hell of a lot more when the road isn’t straight and narrow with all the road signs clearly printed.
- MIND YOUR OWN BISCUITS– we don’t want those sneers, snide comments, that negative cloud of blackness near us and we should try our hardest to stay away from those who have it and make it known. Make that polite conversation and Gtfo. The negativity is unwelcome and we don’t need to feed into each other’s either.
- Wrong does not mean Bad- I think we all could be a little more careful when it comes to labelling what we think as a wrong way to do something as bad, it just adds a negative spin to situations for no other purpose other than to cause eachother personal suffering and to make our own beliefs superior & “Good”
- Feel it, don’t think it- Life is great when you find a way of thinking (or feeling) that works for you. Try to follow your feelings, not the thoughts, ideas and societal norms.
- You are what you think– if you think BIG you are BIG. Don’t get stressed about the “things” in life. Your most valuable and only possession you will ever truly have in this life is YOU. Love yourself & you might find you won’t NEED any “thing” or “one” else.