I have spoke a bit in my previous blogs about finding myself and this is an addition to that topic. During the time I felt lost, I imagined myself as a fully equipped campfire pit. The wood was dry, it was properly positioned but was missing one thing… the lighter. For some reason my fire was all ready but I just didn’t have the tools myself to light it up.
Soul Mates = Camp Fire Lighters
Someone asked me once if I believed in a soul mate and my answer was; I believe that two people can share the same perspective in life and help each other be the better of the best version of themselves… By my own personal definition, that’s a soul mate. I believe that you can be soul mates with more than just romantic interests. This person doesn’t necessarily describe someone who agrees with everything that you think of but instead shares the outer shell of life topics. That for me includes; wonder/open mindedness/respectfulness and oneness with earth & life. You also may not have to actively search for your lighter, sometimes they will just come into your life when you need it the most. My lighter found me in Grade. 12 Exercise Science Class.
Lighters Make Better Yous!
This is not to say that another person is necessary to make a better version of you but generally speaking the right person will help promote the growth within yourself. Again, this could be a best friend, family member, not just an intimate partner. These people are like burning logs, they are spiritual leaders in the sense that they will be the one to ignite your log to start your fire burning. They guide, they reflect your best qualities and match your energies to keep the flames stoked.
The Role of a Lighter
The role of a soul mate is not for you to rely on them to fan your flames for forever. They start your fire and they will help you keep the flames burning… but not for forever. They will need you to go out on your own and be the person that they have shown you that you can be. Not all soul mates will stay in your life, especially those who are really driven to keep their own flames strong and powerful. It can be a painful experience at first to fan your own flames by yourself, especially if you feel abandoned by your lighter. However, this is a process that is necessary to be the newly found you for the first time.
Some People Don’t Need a Lighter
Some people are already their own ignition, their flames have been lit and flaming for a long time. They live their lives igniting the flames of others so that those others can then do the same for others. Maybe these people have previously had their flames lit or maybe it was a natural occurrence, either way if you need a fire starter, these are the best kind of people.
He’s My Lighter
I am very fortunate that my lighter is still very much in my life today. He has shown me who I am, although not always in the most traditional of ways, he has helped show me my best qualities and what I have to take from the world. My lighter has put me in a place where I have had to learn to fan the flames that he lit for me. Although I wish I could have ignited my own flames, I am thankful that he gave me the spark to be the happy, self-burning, open minded self I am today. I want him in my life for as long as possible, but I am confident that my flames will still burn brightly without him around to fan them. This is when you know the work of the lighter is complete, when they are no longer an attachment or a need for you. This is obviously slightly more complicated when your lighter is your partner however, on a spiritual level this holds true.
Share Your Lighter Sans Jealousy
If you are romantically involved with a person who could be classified as a lighter, you need to realize that people are going to be attracted to them. They have this wondrous ability to help people find themselves. They will often have people contacting them about life issues and they will probably invest quite a bit of time into these people such that they have invested into you. Relax, remain calm…. other people need help fanning their flames besides yourself. Let your lighter use their magic.
I’m a Lighter
Once you can confidently fan your own flames, you are going to be able to help ignite others. I know myself now, not just the outer layer of descriptive words often used, but my inner soul. I also know I can now help people ignite their flames. I hope that you get the chance to find someone in your life who can ignite your fire if you are personally feeling like you need that spark to get you started.
Find your lighter, be a lighter!