You hear it all the time… “You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else”. Okay, super great advice, but how? I distinctly remember trying to google this once and quickly learning that this wasn’t something I was going to be able to step by step do on a Wikihow and that was super frustrating to me!
You are the guardian of yourself, imagine your inner self as a small, innocent child that you are responsible for making the decisions of in every aspect of their life, just like a parent. I will further give examples using this through my article to aid in my explanations.
Loving Yourself through My Analogy
For the most part you can show that you love yourself by doing a few simple things that are easy to understand with my analogy.
1.) Eating Well
Remember you are the guardian of your inner child here (that’s you!), would you feed your child a plate of junk for dinner or would you rather them have a healthy balanced meal that makes them grow strong & healthy? I believe the answer here is simple. When you feed your body unwell, you are letting yourself down & not being the best caregiver that you have the potential to be. This is not to say everything you eat must be healthy, of course in moderation treats are great for the body & soul. Compare it to ice cream or cake or treats that your parents gave you as a child. I imagine that most of your meals were nutritious but of course there were desserts and treats once in a while! You are not loving yourself living a life of purely fast food and confectionary. BALANCE.
Your body is full of energy and has such an adaptive ability to be physically fit. Imagine telling your small child, who wants nothing more than to be active and play that they are going to be staying inside all day to watch Netflix. Your child might be a little bummed if it’s a beautiful day outside and there’s a soccer game waiting or fish to be pulled out of the river. Putting your body into the best shape that it can be is showing yourself that you love you, and you care about your physical form. You deserve to be fit & healthy, as does your inner child I speak about. This doesn’t mean you need to be in the gym every day and be a muscle ripped freak, it simply means get out to the park once in a while, take yourself out for a favourite activity of yours. Let your inner child run free!
3.) Doing the Things you Really Want to Do in Life
Everyone has a list of things that they would love to do; kayaking, going to Spain, experiencing a new Patio for a beer. This is just like any child that asks their parents “Mom, can we go to the park?”, “Mom can we go to Canada’s Wonderland”. Except in this story you’re the Mom! When you decide to not do the things you really want to do, your inner child is let down. You have the power to make those things happen and you’re choosing not to, either through fear or anxiety and using petty excuses to cover it up. Everytime you say no to yourself you’re telling yourself that you’re not important enough to do things for. Your inner child also thinks your excuses (like money, time, equipment) are lame. If you really wanted to do something you’d make it work.
4.) Embracing your Emotions
So it wasn’t such a good day, you’re feeling down. Loving yourself means to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel this way and even cry. If your child was crying, do you want to be the parent that says suck it up and stop being such a baby, or do you want to be the parent that soothes and listens. Everyone has those days and emotions need to be embraced not hidden.
5.) Healthy Relationships
So before having a relationship we’ve all been a single parent all of our life, looking after our little inner self. Does your little inner self deserve a step parent that doesn’t appreciate them, doesn’t let them go out and do the activities they enjoy, never lets them have that chocolate cake after dinner? No. A healthy relationship is someone who values and promotes taking care of not only your inner self but also their own. Being in an unhealthy relationship is also showing yourself that you’re not important enough to be with someone who treats you with respect & a high level of care.
6.) Body Respect
So you got really wasted, table danced. You slept with Craig, Ralph and Steve over a weekend, you’re feeling great about yourself right? … Or Not. Your body is the most precious thing you own and deserves to be treated as so. You are not showing yourself that you love you if you are treating it like an invaluable peice of meat. Now I’m not saying to sexually starve yourself but what I am saying is no matter the situation, one night stand or what have it, recognize that you are valuable and that you mean more than just an item of desire. Ideally the person you are with should also recognize that, unfortunately we tend to friend zone those ones…
What Happens when you Choose to be with Someone who Doesn’t Love Themselves?
Self sabotage. You know that kid that’s at the picnic and throws a fit because he thinks everyone else got more juice than him, so everyone pours a little out of their cup into his to make him happy? That’s what it’s like being a relationship with someone who doesn’t love themself. Loving yourself is a full time job that deserves 100% of your attention. When you are with someone who is not on that level they will leach you dry and demand you to be the parent of their attention deprived inner child. This is not sustainable and soon you will likely find yourself giving up the attention you would normally give yourself to keep this person happy. This is not the sacrifice that needs to be made in order to be in a good relationship. You will also likely find that they will stop you from enjoying the activities you like, would rather sulk and pout, require excessive attention and compliments. This is because they have been starving their own little person. If you can recognize this in your relationship, help your significant other love themselves, or get yourself outta there. I will promise you that their will be others that know how to love themselves and will be beneficial for your own little person person not destructive. Too add, most people who are unhappy with themselves will try to make you feel like the one that is doing things all wrong.. 😁 save yourself!
- Everything you do reflects how much you love yourself. When you choose an unhealthy lifestyle you’re openly deciding to put toxins in your body, make it a habit and you’re telling your body that it deserves to have toxins in it.
- You need self care to self love because loving yourself is not something you just say and it’s there. Just like a small child, if you tell them you love them but contradict that with your behaviours and actions, you’re just telling a lie
- Decide to be in a relationship with someone who has an awesome inner child like you that you can share awesome experiences with. I can garuntee there will be issues if each of your Invidual self love is not on the same level.
- Loving yourself is attainable, but take the time to get to know what you like and what you need in your life Independetly of others, keep a person journal to help track this!
- Always keep in mind, what your little person wants or needs. You are the guardian of your body and the decisions you make in this life. Do good.
GO DO YOU!